Sunday, October 28, 2007

Life is Hard

What? Yah, it is . Real hard. Love, marriage, relationships, friends, parents, siblings, staff, people you hardly know, bills, money, health, just about everything is hard work....
From the minute we wake up, we have to make decisions, what to wear, what's going to happen today, who will I meet, will I do my work well, do I look good, oh my god a zit......
Frankly, some days, I long for an easier life... some days, I dont want to brush my teeth .... dont want to change my pjs... dont wanna read the papers, dont want television........... nothing.
I would be quite content to lie there in my bed with my cat by my side , note, my cat, not my man, sometimes, he can be hard work too....
all my pussycat asks for is a cuddle and a stroke, bless his little cotton socks. What a darling he is.. ... he sure knows how to keep me happy ... he doesnt ask for much ... just cuddles and strokes and food and water.... he doesnt care that I look like I've been dragged through thorned bushes and my breathe smells like yesterday's sweaty socks ... he just looks at me with adorable eyes and purrs with delight that I have time to stroke him.... my kitty is a dear sweet thing and he's so full of love.
But then, guilt sets in and I have to get up, brush my teeth, wash the sleep from my eyes, wash off the mascara, shower away last night, make coffee, have toast and look alive again.
It's Sunday, can I just resign from life for a day????
Can I forget that I am broke and have a thousand responsibilities ....
Can I , huh, can I ??????
No I cant ... as much as I want to I flipping cant forget and it's a burden.... how did I get this way ... how did any of us get this way.... why and when did we suddenly become responsible for everyone around us .... for people who arent family but we still care for them....
Can I just go out and hunt for food and feed the whole village?
Do we reallly need this ... the internet, radio, TV, electricity, running water, flushing toilets, telephones, mobiles, cars, packaged foods, designer clothes, bags, shoes, credit cards, contact lens, make up, creams, perfume......................... the list goes on and on and on.......................
oh blast it, I hate to say this but we do need all this , we do really, we've got too used to having these luxuries, life would be harder without all this stuff and so the vicious circle goes on and on and on.....
Life's pressures to have fun, to look good , to have the right image, oh blast , I am tired just thinking about it all.... but I will have to carry on just like you will have to too.
Wish there was an easier way of having the good things in life without having to suffer and stress out so much.
Why do we have to carry so much ...... on our poor shoulders.... when did our standard of living get so high..... why are we so scared of poverty... when did poverty mean not having the internet, make up, perfume, a car, a house, holidays, mobile, camera...........................
it's all to do with where we live maybe.... so I move country and guess what...... it's the same in most countries..... of course there are exceptions but believe me , only a few.
So, dont fight it, conform.
I have to conform but I have no choice, do you??
I dont want to but I must conform.
That's enough for now, I am too depressed to day to write anymore, I am pre-menstral, so no point making everyone else miserable too eh.
Hence, I sign off now. Will come back again and blog some more..... I think.