Tuesday, September 23, 2008

24/09/08

I just want to remember these things and that's why I should write them down.

Have noticed today that she has not touched anything that we have bought- she will not eat the bread we buy even though i know she likes brown/wheat/granary breads. She totally will not touch it.

She does not use the milk i use, apparently it's not the right brand.

even the fabric washing liquid is also the wrong brand - she willnot use it for her clothes either.

I bought some fruit - she willnot touch any of it.

I offered her some nuts - she doesnt like nuts she says and adds she's not hungry but in the next 2 minutes literally, she goes to the kitchen and brings out a bowl of porridge and proceeds to eat that. I hasten to add that the porridge is full of nuts, and raisins too.

the bottle of barley lime cordial that I had purchased and placed on the shelf with the other cordials (hers), has no been left on the shelf on its own, as she has removed all her bottles away and placed them on another shelf.

perhaps our cordial will contaminate hers.

she is adamant that she will not eat or use anything that we purchase - she does not want any of our stuff!

she will only use her own - she lets us use her stuff but willnot touch ours!


what should I do now! it does make us feel like we are intruders and blood suckers! Like we are living off her. Well, I dont want to feel like that. I would like to stop using her stuff and eating her food and I will do it now.... albeit gradually.


she is gradually alienating us and doing it on purpose and oh so subtly too.


When we argued last week about the file, I told her that she is making us feel unwanted and as if we are outsiders, like contractors, due to her behaviour. She denied it so much and said that she does not have one evil bone in her body and that it was me that had the problem; that i had always harboured nasty thoughts about her and that i hated her.

she even pointed out that it is me who behavours unreasonably from being a young girl and that she is innocent and always has been; that she is god fearing and loved by god! whereas me, well, she couldnt speak on my behalf, but she can say that i was twarted and twisted and bitter , and finally added that someone was always being snide about her behind her back to him. the word she used was: fitnah - someone alway fitnahs you against me. Well, dear, are you talking about my husband??? think again .... you have never been further from the truth!

She has treated him like a contractor since he arrived her.... she has been rude to him, talked down to him and ordered him about as if he was an idiot!

Yet, she says, I treat him with respect and spoil him.


I am tired of her behaviour but I promised my brother, that I would help and I owe him alot for helping us out.... but she is another matter.


When she and I had a chat about it.... she says " i do respect what you do but not him. he's nasty. but you cant run away from the fact that I am your mother and that's that"

How sad she has become or has she always been that way. in a weird way, she has some love for me but she hates me as a person . Admittedly I dont like her as a person either.

Worst of all, I hate that she is so full of herself and exornorates herself from blame. She puts herself on a pedestal... high above everyone.... she really only loves herself.... everyone else has a place in her life ... we are all there for a purpose and the purpose is so as it serves her !


We argued because I was asking my husband to make a few phone calls to chase payments, hence I was showing him the invoice file. She barges in and sits for 5 secs on her desk, sees what I am doing and runs to me desk, demanding to know what I am doing. When I tell her, she defensively says: Why are you giving him my job. you have no right to let him do my job!

thence starts the row of a life time.

thing is , she had said previously that she will not call clients for money - I had to do it. So, when I am busy, I ask him to do it. What's the harm? Afterall she did not want to do it and had made it clear to me. So what's the problem. It's no secret work - he's just helping.

Oh no! she does not like it at all.


Of course I yell and scream at her.... I am appalled by such attitude.


Ah well.